Phases of the Moon
by TheLupineBaron
Summary: After the rest of the dorm have fallen asleep, Sirius and Remus are together under the light of the waxing moon. Follows the two Marauders over different phases of the moon. Will be SiriusxRemus slash.
1. The Waxing Moon

_This is my first posted fanfic so advice and/or constructive criticism will be really helpful. Please review! It would make me very happy :) -- like this. _

_I am rather in need of a beta. Any offers? My typing is apalling and I've read through it several times but I'm pretty sure I'm just reading what I know it's meant to say now so I miss the mistakes :/_

_Oh yeah and any italics after these are Sirius' thoughts. _

_Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling and therefore do not own any of the characters in this fic._

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**The Waxing Moon**

The waxing moon hung high in the night sky, drawing the attention of one Sirius Black who observed it from the window of his Gryffindor dormitory. The other boys had fallen asleep long ago but the moon enchanted Sirius who couldn't help but wonder how his friend Remus always felt at the sight of that silvery orb. He knew how much Remus feared the full moon, knew it was what a boggart would turn into when it faced Remus in Defence Against the Dark Arts lessons. The handsome, black haired boy chortled softly as he remembered the confusion amongst their classmates as to why Remus Lupin would be scared of crystal balls, of all things. Sirius flicked his long hair out of his eyes and, despite the fond memory, his heart twisted at the thought of what his friend had to go through once each month.

'Oh Moony,' he whispered, addressing the closed red and gold curtains of Remus' bed, 'I can't imagine what it's like to be a werewolf, can't imagine what it's like to transform each full moon.'

The curtains twitched and were flung open, revealing a slightly pale Remus Lupin, his sandy hair mussed from tossing and turning in his bed and his amber eyes shining in the glow of the moonlight coming in through the dormitory window.

'I'm glad you can't Padfood. I wouldn't wish that kind of understanding on anyone,' muttered the boy, 'but I'd rather not discuss it.'

'Sorry Rem! I thought you were asleep.'

Remus looked so… attractive? Adorable? Sirius couldn't think of the right word but he found his eyes drawn to the werewolf sitting cross-legged on the bed, clad in just his boxers, scars from the past full moons visible on his bare chest.

_I shouldn't be thinking of my best friend like that! And besides, I like girls!_

But a small voice in the back of his mind (a voice which sounded unnervingly like James') was saying 'But you like Remus and he isn't a girl.'

'Shut up James!' Sirius mumbled and shook his head in a vain attempt to rid his mind of thoughts of Remus.

He was torn from his reverie by a soft chuckle coming from Remus' direction and he turned to look at him quizzically.'

'You just remind me of the dog that you are when you do that Siri. It's kind of cute in a way and, by the way, James is asleep, he didn't say anything.'

_Remus thinks I'm cute! Remus thinks I'm cute!_

Sirius did a mental celebratory dance and replied 'Shush Moony or you'll shatter my bad boy image.' It was a poor reply and he'd just ignored his comment about James (Remus probably thought he was insane) but Remus has this inate ability to turn his brain to mush. A 'talent' which Remus was, as always, completely oblivious too but maybe that was for the best.

Another chuckle sounded in reply. Sirius loved that he could make Remus laugh so close to the full moon.

'If only all the girls of Hogwarts knew that you were a big cuddly dog at hearts Pads! Do you think they would see you as the loveable bad boy then?'

_Cuddly? And loveable? I wonder if it's really the girls or my Remmie who thinks that I'm loveable, maybe there is hope for me yet. Hang on… Merlin! When did I start thinking of Remus as 'my Remmie'? I'm so glad James can't hear me now._

'Hey! Padfoot may be loveable but he's bad too! And dangerous! Just like the girls like.' _And hopefully just like Remus likes too! _Sirius retorted, 'Anyway, what would the girls say if they knew about Moony? Destroy your image as the innocent bookwork eh?' Sirius winked at Remus but he wasn't sure if the other boy noticed in the dim light.

Remus froze, sitting stock still on the four-poster bed.

Sirius froze too, instantly regretting his choice of words.

_Oh Merlin what have I done? I mentioned the wolf! And only a night from the full moon! I know how sensitive Remus is about it but I just don't think. I'm stupid, stupid, STUPID!_

'I'm sorry Rem, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean…'

'No it's okay Siri, you're right. If people knew me for the monster that I really am they would hate me.'

'No, that's not true at all Remus!' Sirius cried, making a point of not calling the boy Moony now.

'Yes it is, if they knew Sirius, if they knew I was a monster they… they wouldn't want anything to do with me.'

_Oh crap, how could I make this better? How could I convince Remus that he's as human as all of us? Except maybe Snivelly…damnit shut up Sirius! You're supposed to be making Remus feel better after the stupid thing you just said!_

Sirius leaped down from his position on the window ledge and rushed over to Remus' bed, drawing the werewolf into a close embrace. Remus seemed to fit so well against his body, it was so easy to hold him in his arms and never even contemplate letting him go.

'Rem, you are not a monster, that's not what I meant. You are a kind, warm hearted, generous person. The ones that judge you on what you are on one day in thirty one are the monsters. I just meant… I meant you are so brave Remus, for going though what you do. If they knew then they'd know you're not the person they think you are, they'd see that Gryffindor courage in you stronger than in any of them!' he said, trying to undo what he had implied.

Remus shook in the animagus' arms as the tears began to flow steadily from his eyes. Sirius felt awful and his heart ached thinking that it was he who had reduced his friend to his current state. How dare he try and fix things when it was he who had broken them? But he had to try… he had to.

'Thanks Siri,' Remus sniffed, 'it means a lot to me you know, your friendship I mean. And Prongs and Wormtail's.' he added, almost as an afterthought.

_No, he cares for me I know but only as a friend. Only equally as much as he cares for James or Peter._

Sirius realised that Remus was still speaking. 'I just wish…other people felt the same way as you do about my lyc… about my condition. You help you know, at the full moons, you, James and Peter. I…I don't hurt myself anywhere near as much and I can even remember bits and pieces. I'm more human than when I had to cope with the transformations alone.'

He was still speaking through sobs but Sirius could sense the ghost of a smile in his voice at the reminiscing about the adventures of Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs under the light of the full moon. It warmed Sirius' heart more than he cared to admit that the anamagi helped Remus keep the wolf at bay.

_Especially Padfoot, he's closest to Moony I know he is. Padfoot and Moony, the dog and the wolf, the two canines. _

Right now though, Sirius had to stop fantasising and talk to Remus. 'Other people do feel the same Rem.' He stated, 'There's Lily, she's been really supportive and treats you just the same since she found out, James' parents don't care because they know who you really are Remus. There'd be others too if only you gave them a chance and didn't let the prejudices of a few affect you.

'I know Siri, I know and I'm eternally grateful for the people that allow my actions to define me and not the wolf. You can't avoid the fact that I turn into a dangerous wolf once a month though. And these scars,' he said, pointing vaguely at himself, 'they're disgusting.'

Sirius held Remus close and said, indignantly in his ear.

'Hey! Don't insult my best friend! My best friend who happens to be one of the kindest and funnest guys to be around! And Moony,' it felt safe to use the nickname now, 'the scars are beautiful to me.'

This time Remus really did smile and said,

'Most fun Siri. I'm the most fun guy to be around.'

_That's the Remmie I know back. He must be okay if he's correcting me again._

Sirius laughed.

'I know you are. I'm glad you agree with me.' He was rewarded with another laugh from Remus. The warm feeling from being able to make Remus happy so close to the full moon blossomed again inside Sirius. 'Everything is going to be okay.'

'Don't be so cliché Pads. But seriously, I know things will be okay because I've got you guys, the Marauders.'

Sirius looked down at the boy in his arms and saw Remus gazing up at him, those alluring, amber eyes still shining with tears but a smile spreading across his face. He hated seeing Remus upset but he was always slightly on edge this close to the full moon. Sirius traced the scars on Remus' back absentmindedly with his finger and Remus shivered under the touch but did not pull away from the animagus.

The two fell asleep not long after, Sirius still holding Remus tightly as they lay on Remus' bed, the curtains still flung open and their two entwined bodies bathed in the silvery light of the waxing moon.


	2. The Full Moon

_Second chapter. I decided to go for it! Reviews would be useful, thank you. _

_Any italics are still Sirius' thoughts. Not these italics of course, I doubt he thinks about fanfic. _

_Disclaimer: I'm still not J.K. Rowling and I still don't own the characters or anything you recognice from HP in this fic. And I won't for the rest of the chapters either!_

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Dusk was fast approaching as Sirius made his way towards the Whomping Willow. James and Peter were almost uncomfortably close on either side of him, the three of them huddled underneath James' invisibility cloak, but Sirius didn't care. His eyes were firmly fixed on the back of Remus Lupin, his mind racing with thoughts of the werewolf, the impending full moon and the events of the previous night replaying in his head.

"_It's kind of cute." That's what he said. And he was talking about ME! And the way we fell asleep together, I'm sure he's never done that with James or Pete. Woah, slow down, I don't even know if Remus likes boys!_

The horizon was coloured with brilliant streaks of red, orange and pink, the light glinting off Remus' sandy hair. Sirius squinted and tried to shield his eyes against the light of the setting sun but his attempts were futile.

_The moon will be rising soon._

Sirius could always tell when the moon was about to rise. He could see his werewolf friend tense and could read in Remus' body language that the wolf was fighting for dominance. He idly wondered if the other two Marauders could sense these changes in their friend the same way he could and found himself hoping that they could not.

'Oi Padfoot!' cried a voice from close by, 'Earth to Sirius! Wormtail's pressed the knot on the willow. Are you coming?'

_What? Wormtail? Knot? THE WILLOW! _

The dark haired animagus shivered slightly in the chill of an October evening allowing reality to infiltrate his preoccupied mind. Sinking to his hand and knees, Sirius crawled under the now eerily still branches of the Whomping Willow and into the dark tunnel, filled with a sense of ominous foreboding for the moonlit night ahead. Remus seemed to have been more affected than usual by the impending presence of the full moon (maybe something was troubling him?) and usually, although Sirius hoped that this time he was wrong, this meant that the wolf would be agitated.

Before long the four Marauders had clambered out of the tunnel and into the dank interior of the Shrieking Shack. Sirius saw Remus sniff the air and scrunch up his nose in distaste. All four friends smelt of wet earth and to Remus' heightened sense of smell it must have been almost overwhelming. Sirius allowed the sound of amused laughter to escape his lips despite the gravity of the situation.

_I wonder if all those other myths about werewolves are true… bloody hell Sirius stop thinking of Rem like that! He's you're friend, he trusts you. Merlin, he's about to get undressed with you in the room. Mmm Moony undressed… _

Sirius mentally slapped himself for thinking such perverted thoughts about Remus.

'Guys, I think I'm going to transform soon. You'd better change.'

Remus' voice was hoarse and strained as the slightest hint of a growl sounded in his throat. The dim shack was lit with only a shaft of moonlight which came in through the gap in the dusty, moth eaten curtains. Glancing around, Sirius marvelled at the spells that must have been used to protect the building. To a muggle the shack would seem ready to collapse at any moment and certainly not able to withstand the attentions of a frenzied wolf.

Sirius, along with James and Peter, turned to face the damp, wooden wall of the shack in order to give their werewolf friend some privacy. As the three of them changed into their animal forms each thought of the thin, scarred boy that they had become so close to. The boy they had become anamagi for.

_I don't know how you do it. Oh Rem, you're the best of all of us. And the bravest. I hate to see you upset like last night just because of your lycanthropy. I want to be there for you all the time; I want you to understand what you do to me because Merlin Remus I think… I think I'm falling in love with you. _

A long, low howl pierced the silence from behind where the dog, stag and rat now stood; on guard and alert. Remus had transformed and it was time for Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs to go on another one of their monthly explorations of Hogsmeade and the surrounding area.

Dawn would soon be filling the sky with its radiant glow once more and the full moon had almost sunk beneath the horizon when the four marauders returned to the shack. The three animagi changed back into their human forms and returned to Hogwarts via the passageway under the Whomping Willow. Madam Pomfrey had, upon Remus' request, stopped coming to collect him in the mornings shortly after the other three marauders had succeeded in becoming animagi but they still usually left in order to allow Remus to recover in his own time.

As the three of them, once more huddled under James' invisibility cloak, walked past Hagrid's hut, Sirius replayed some of the events of the full moon in his mind.

_**Wormtail scuttled under Moony's legs as the wolf let out a fierce growl which caused the rat to make a hasty retreat across the long grass. Moony advanced on Padfoot, nipping him playfully on the ear but turning his great, lupine head and baring his knife sharp teeth at the stag behind him. Prongs had thought that Moony was attacking Padfoot and had lowered his head, roaring with a great bellowing sound and nudging the wolf with his antlers. But Padfoot was certain that Moony was not attacking him. He knew that Padfoot and Moony shared a close bond; closer even than that of the wolf and the rat or stag. Maybe was gently playing (flirting even?) with Padfoot in a way that Remus would never usually allow himself to do. The great, black dog shook himself in an attempt to dislodge the burs that clung to his long fur and, as gently as he could, pushed Prongs away. He nuzzled his face into the shaggy fur on Moony's neck and the wolf whimpered. **_

_I have to go back! Moony likes Padfoot, I'm sure of it. It's just Rem's too worried about ruining our friendship to say anything. Just like I have been. Anyway, it's now or never, before I lose my nerve._

Sirius stopped dead without warning just as the three friends passed the lake, causing James and Peter to trip over the folds of the cloak and fall to the ground.

'Mmph, SIRIUS!' cried James. Who appeared to Sirius as only a flailing pair of legs. 'What did you stop for!?'

'Yeah! What'd you stop for' repeated the seemingly disembodied head of Peter weakly.

Sirius had to think quickly. He could hardly tell two of his best friends that he thought he was in love with their fellow Marauder could he?

'I, erm, left my wand in the shack! Better go and get it.' He replied, 'I'll check on Moony too while I'm there.'

'But Padfoot we don't…' James began to reply before trailing off as a light seemed to have been switched behind his hazel eyes. 'Oh, I see, yeah you better go and fetch it Pads.'

'Prongs we don't take our wands to the shack!' Cried the thin voice of the rather plump boy as he picked himself up off the floor and straightened his robes.

Peter's reply was a sharp elbow in the ribs from James as he said,

'Well I bet Padfoot just left his in his robes by mistake, didn't you Pads? And then it must have fallen out in the shack eh?'

Sirius was sure that he saw his friend wink at him as he said this and all he could manage in reply was an indistinct mumble that yes, he had indeed left his wand in his robes and he must go and fetch it now or he would miss breakfast and Dumbledore would get suspicious.

Then there was a sharp tug on the sleeve of his robes and that James' calm, even voice was whispering in his ear. 'Good luck,' he said in hushed tones so that Peter couldn't hear. At Sirius' bemused look the messy haired boy replied, 'I saw you last night. And anyway, it's been obvious for a while now. You like each other'

Realisation dawned on Sirius' handsome features and a broad grin spread slowly across his face.

'_You like each other.' Each other! That means Prongs thinks Rem likes me too! Then again Prongsie boy is convinced that Lily will eventually say yes to him. No! Don't think of that. James thinks Remus like me! James knows I like Remus and doesn't think I'm a disgusting pouf! _

Sirius mind raced with thoughts. Fantasies playing in his mind of what Remus would say when he got to the shack. He was so absorbed in this that he didn't hear Peter crying,

'Prongs what's going on! Something's going on and I know it. You're not planning a prank are you? A prank on me!?'

Sirius retraced his steps towards the Whomping Willow, almost bouncing as he made his way through the grass which was still wet with the morning dew. It soaked the bottom of his robes but the animagus didn't care because he thought he may have a real chance with Remus Lupin. 'His Remmie'. Casting all seeds of doubt from his mind he picked up a long branch, using it to still the erratic willow and crawled through the passageway towards the shack where Remus would still be recovering. He, Sirius Black, was going to make everything better. He was going to give Remus the love he deserved because the two boys were made for each other, he was sure. Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. The dog and the wolf. The two marauders.


	3. Sunlight

_Very, very sorry anyone who is reading this fic about the long delay between updates (and for the short length of this one. I hope it's okay S) Anyway, I've had (and still have) loads of coursework to do, January exams and then my computer died on me and had to be fixed! I'm not sure on this chapter anyway. _

_I don't own the Marauders sadly, or anything else you recognise from JK's books._

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**Sunlight**

A strong scent of loamy soil filled Sirius' nostrils as he crawled slowly through the passageway under the Whomping Willow. The tunnel was cramped and damp, creating brown stains on the knees of his trousers. His robes snagged on roots as he moved swiftly over them but the animagus didn't notice, his mind too deeply absorbed with thoughts of the werewolf he was about to meet.

_Argh, this is ridiculous! _

Sirius swept a lock of hair out of his face with a muddy hand.

_I've known Remus for years, I shouldn't be this damn nervous about it._

A rapid succession of images leapt through his mind, of the two of them embracing, of Remus professing his love for him.

_But what if it's not like that? What if Remus is disgusted by me when I tell him? I'm going on the advice of bloody Prongs! And has he got Evans to go out with him yet? Pffft!_

Sirius stopped momentarily in the tunnel, took a deep breath to help still his nerve and slowly lifted his hand to push against the trap door. The ancient wooden panel creaked on its rusted hinges and flipped over, hitting the floor of the shack with a dull thud. Sirius grasped the edges of the hole with his hands and hauled himself up. A tearing sound rent the air and the animagus flopped unceremoniously to the ground.

_Aww Merlin now I've ripped my robes! McGonagall'll slaughter me. Shut it Sirius, now isn't the time to be thinking about Minnie…but that tartan dressing gown is so fetching…oh Merlin's beard what kind of a perv am I!?_

Minute particles of dust hung in the air in Shrieking Shack, only visible where they were illuminated in a shaft of brilliant sunlight which had found its way through a gap in the board on the windows.

_Finally, a chance to talk to Rem alone in the daytime. He likes the daylight more, it'll make it easier to talk about...stuff._

'Ahhhhh!'

Sirius train of thought was interrupted by a cry from the room above.

_Remus!_

Sirius used the sleeve of his t-shirt to wipe the sweat from his brow, took off his robes and, bundling them up in his arms, took the stairs two, sometimes three, at a time to the first floor of the Shrieking Shack.

What he saw as he bounded through the doorway at the top of the stairs made him wince. Remus lay on the four poster bed, its sheets stained with a worrying amount of blood. How much of it was from last night Sirius could only guess at. Since the Marauders had successfully become animagi Remus was much less affected by the transformations. His memory of the events of the full moon was clearer and the wolf caused less damage to itself. But now the werewolf was sprawled on his back, legs akimbo and topless. With one swift glance Sirius took in the fresh cuts that littered his friend's chest causing livid, scarlet lines across his pale skin. Remus' arm hung down off the mattress at an unnatural angle and the animagus had to choke back tears that threatened to spring from his eyes for the suffering of the boy he loved.

Two large strides brought Sirius to Remus' bedside and he knelt down to inspect the boy's wounds.

_Broken arm, more injuries than usual, I knew Rem was agitated. I wish I didn't have to leave before he transforms back. _

A few quick spells helped the healing of the slashes across Remus' torso but, to Sirius' great distress; there was little he could do for the broken arm.

'Ferula.' muttered the dark haired boy as he popped Remus' shoulder back into its socket. Stark, white bandages wound themselves around the broken arm and a wooden splint to keep it steady.

A barely audible sob escaped Sirius' throat and once more tears pricked at his eyes. He couldn't bear to see Remus suffer like this. The animagus cupped the young werewolf's cheek in his hand, feeling the soft, warm skin of Remus' face. Then he bent over the four-poster and, sweeping back a fringe of sandy hair, planted a tender kiss on the younger boy's forehead.

_Oh Remus, I wish I could help you more. I wish I could take the pain for you. _

'Rem I… well, I don't even know if you can here me but,' Sirius whispered, his lips close to the boy's ear, 'the thing is, I can't stand not telling you any longer and… well, Prongs thought I should too so here I am.'

_Just say it Sirius, Remmie can't even hear you probably._

'Basically Rem, I…I love you.'

Sirius' voice cracked and this time the tears that had threatened to come to his eyes came splashing down, hitting Remus' cheek in a slow rhythm.

The still muddy hand cupping the werewolf's cheek wiped the tears away gently, trembling only slightly as it did so. Whilst Sirius looked on lovingly, Remus' eyelids fluttered. A movement so small it was only just noticeable in the dim light of the shack. He groaned and tried to lift his arm to rub his eyes finding it bound tightly in white gauze and impossible to move up to his face.

_He's awake! Merlin, I wonder if he heard me? At least he's awake though, that's a good sign, right?_

'Remus! Oh gods Rem I was so worried. I haven't seen you this bad since before me, 'Tail and Prongsie could spend the full moons with you. Here, lemme help you to the hospital wing.'

'I'm fine Siri, really. I don't need your help; I'll just wait for Madam Pomfrey.' Came Remus' hoarse reply.

_Grrr, that's Moony alright. Stubborn as ever and always refusing help even when he obviously needs it. I guess he just doesn't want to feel more vulnerable than the rest of us Marauders. _

'Right, of course you don't Moony…'

'Pads, I don't!' Remus tried to exclaim but his voice cracked as he spoke and he let put a hacking cough, belying his words.

Sirius looked at him sadly, shrugged his now torn robes back on, and told his friend that he would go and fetch Madam Pomfrey anyway; just to make sure he was okay. After all, she was better at mending broken bones than any witch he'd ever come across. He turned swiftly to head for the door, trying to hide his face from Remus so that the streaks in the dirt caused by the tears would not be seen. A loose floor board creaked underfoot and Sirius grasped the door frame so tight that the skin was pulled taught across his knuckles, the blood drained from them making them almost white. He glanced back at Remus, calculating in his head the amount of time he would be alone in the shack if he went across to the hospital wing to fetch Madam Pomfrey. Just as he decided it was worth it to get the broken arm seen to more quickly, Remus' low-pitched voice broke the silence.

'Sirius!' he tried to shout. 'Siri, wait I…'

The animagus whipped his head around to look at his friend, waiting for him to get his breath back and finish his sentence. But Sirius didn't find out what Remus wanted to say as the boy sank back into unconsciousness, lying spread-eagled on the four poster bed once more. There was one last flurry of movement as the injured boy attempted to get comfortable and he murmered,

'Siri I...I'

Then the need for sleep overwhelmed him and he lay still again.

'_Siri, wait I…' what was he going to say? I…love you? Only like you as a mate? What!?_

'Mobilicorpus.' Sirius muttered and walked down the stairs, through the tunnel and across the Hogwarts grounds with Remus hovering in front of him like a puppet. His mind was preoccupied and he stumbled over grassy hillocks or caught his foot in a rabbit warren more than once. Each time he stumbled the pale, unconscious body of the werewolf he was transporting almost hit the ground but somehow Sirius averted disaster.

As he was about half way across the field, the hem of his robes dragging along the sodden earth, Madam Pomfrey appeared. The bright orb of the sun was low in the sky and cast long shadows of the three figures across the dew covered grass. Sirius barely noticed when Madam Pomfrey took Remus off him and manhandled him onto a stretcher which she levitated towards the castle. The morning hadn't gone quite as he had expected. Remus had wanted to say something, but what? The animagus sighed deeply as thoughts of what it could have been mingled with worry for his friend. He had been naive to think that it would have been so easy. Love was never simple, not even in the daylight.


End file.
